Last week i felt discouraged.  Where oh where is all my fluff that comes with being a Lady of the South? (and i'm not talking about around the waistline...)  i mean, i guess i have been under the impression that all the grace and charm and knowhow just came naturally with age.  Sort of like how women say motherhood just happens.  i hope that's true (though it probably isn't) because, if that day ever comes i'm going to need extra help.  i, too, know nothin bout birthin or rearin no babies.  

i can't garden.  Baking certainly isn't a strong suit.  The only thing i have ever sewn is a John Deere pillow for some ex-boyfriend, and i don't think it was ever finished.  i haven't been to church, except the few times i have been with my parents, in approximately two years.  And i can barely play the piano.

Now, don't get me wrong.  i certainly DO NOT believe that being the perfect southern woman means filling my days with sock darning, bottle warming, and having supper on the table by 5:00.  Despite my husband's insisting that the woman i long be have a weekly "ironing day," this is not the quest to become the perfect housewife. 

The Perfect Southern Woman is strong and hard working.  She is involved in her community and passionate about her causes.  She is the best looking and the best cooking woman most men have ever met.  She curses in moderation, laughs at dirty jokes, finishes thank-you notes in a timely fashion, prays daily and, damn it, she keeps plants living and her yard kept so that she can enjoy cocktails on her porch.  She is all this, and much more.  And i vow to become her.  La. Tee. Da.